Thursday, February 10, 2011

This is 100% Jon Acuff's idea.

(This is 100% Jon Acuff's idea).

Most people know by heart or a least know of the five "Love Languages," which are cool and all, but really. Only five? I've thought of like twenty more since beginning this post, which I am making up as I go with almost no forethought. Like this gem: Head Scratches.

This is a big one for me. How do you express your love for me? Scratch my head. Do not use a head scratcher.

I will reciprocate by scratching your head.

I'm like the Rainman of Love Languages, my list is almost infinite and I know I'm not the only one who sees (or communicates) love with these things on my never ending list. Here is another one: Sour Patch Kids. Everyone loves SPK's and everyone loves it when other people share their (love for) the SPK's. You know I'm right and we're communicating little inklings of love right now, let's not get carried away though. I'm not having your sour patch kids before a trial head scratch. You'll know if you've passed.

The Love Languages book was a big seller and, on the basis of the sheer and overwhelming amount of ways there apparently are to tell somebunny that you love them, that fact is not surprising. What is surprising is that I am the first person to have thought of this: a database of LL's which can be accessed by those with the intention to woo. Actually, Jon Acuff thought of it first. Never mind.

Dang. Here are my LL's:

Wikipedia
I like trivia and I like that Wikipedia exists so that I don't have to remember any trivia. I can just look it up on my phone mid-conversation, and I will, I'll just interrupt you and do it; In fact I already interrupted to you phone-write this post. I know you're thinking that I used to make fun of people with internet phones, and that wasn't past life because I still do.

If you love me, you'll judge me in silence.

Figuring out what's going to happen in the end of movies
is something that I am an expert at. Seriously, I'm really, really good. Not a lot of people like having the end ruined, though, so I should have it known that being in love with me means knowing exactly what is going to happen in the end of every movie, probably forever.